Clara Was 8 Years Old. And She Was Dying of Cancer

Clara was eight years old, and she was dying of cancer.

Her curative treatment had ended. Her parents decided to discharge her from Doernbecher Children’s Hospital and return home to Southern Oregon, where Clara could spend her final days in her own room, surrounded by her toys, stuffed animals and family.

But something was wrong.

Clara Couldn’t Sleep

Once Clara was home, her parents quickly realized that no matter how hard she tried, she could not fall asleep.

Night after night, she would approach the edge of sleep and suddenly wake up.

Her parents were understandably puzzled.

Was the insomnia caused by the cancer overtaking her body? Was it a side effect of her pain medication?

But night after night, Clara continued to lie awake.

Desperate to help their daughter, her parents called Kathy Perko, a nurse practitioner at Doernbecher Children’s Hospital.

After describing Clara’s insomnia, they asked, “What do you think we should do?”

As Kathy listened, she began preparing the response she would normally give:

There’s a medication for that.

She could prescribe something to help Clara sleep. She could increase the narcotics Clara was already taking. Surely, more medication would calm her enough to allow sleep to return.

But in a moment of insight, Kathy realized that Clara might not need more medication.

She asked her parents a simple but profound question:

“Have you asked Clara why she won’t fall asleep?”

After a moment of silence, Clara’s parents answered, “No, we haven’t.”

Kathy asked them to take the phone into Clara’s room.

“Let’s ask her.”

Asking the Right Question

Together, they asked:

“Clara, why aren’t you falling asleep?”

Clara answered without hesitation:

“Because I’m afraid death will come for me when I’m asleep.”

Her response shocked them all.

Clara did not need medication. She needed to know that she was going to be okay.

Her parents and Kathy began wondering what they could say or do to reassure her that, no matter what happened while she slept, she would be safe.

After hours of thought, they found a solution.

A Pair of Angel Wings

That night, Clara’s parents entered her room holding a pair of angel wings.

They told her:

“Wear these so that if you go to sleep and death comes for you, they will carry you to heaven.”

Clara began sleeping soundly again.

She wore her angel wings for the rest of her life.

Sometimes, the most healing thing a caregiver can offer is not medical.

Clara’s story reminds us that finding the right response begins with asking the right question.